in which i would really kill for some cheese with this whine

Today, in a word, sucked.

in which i realize that i never actually had dysentery

I thought the antibiotics I took for the dysentery had worked, but that was short-lived. My stomach has been sort of upset even after taking the full course, but I sort of chalked it up to eating nothing but spicy Indian food. But then on Friday night, I couldn't fall asleep because it felt like I was in the movie "Alien," and I just generally felt crappy and low-energy all week. I also chalked this up to the rigorous schedule that we had been following.

But this afternoon I had a low-grade fever and had a lot of...intestinal issues. I also was peeing a lot. Like, I would drink an ounce of water and immediately run to the bathroom. Also, Electral in water tasted delicious, and oral rehydration salts only taste good if you're dehydrated. I sucked it up and went to the doctor today. I didn't have to poop in a cup this time, but I did take a cup home to poop in just in case the medication he prescribed didn't work.

Turns out I was misdiagnosed. Bacterial dysentery, my ass. Instead, I've got the ever-pleasant giardia! Check out that lovely chart of the life cycle of the protozoa from the CDC on the left. Symptoms of giardiasis include -- diarrhea, gas, greasy stools that tend to float, stomach or abdominal cramps, upset stomach or nausea/vomiting, and dehydration. I've had all of these things. Additionally, giardiasis can apparently appear to get better only to come back in full force a few days later. This is probably what happened to me after taking the antibiotics.

Hopefully this will be the end of my GI problems in this country. My roommate, on the other hand, is raring to eat some street food. I still just want a simple salad and maybe some tomato soup. Arugula, where are you?!

in which i give an indian doctor a stool sample

I, Maxine Lee Builder, a proud citizen of the United States of America who is currently spending the semester in New Delhi, India is currently suffering from a bad case of intestinal infection caused by the ingestion of contaminated food or drink. (This is a fancy way of saying that I have a parasite or bacteria living in my GI tract, and I'm pooping a lot. I'm not ashamed because, as we learned on Friday, everyone poops. [Everyone. Even Beyonce.])

I went to the East West Clinic in New Delhi this afternoon with one of the SIT staff, who is the most maternal figure I have ever met. I told her this morning that I had been suffering this weekend from a fever, the chills, lots of digestion issues, and she was the most kind and understanding. She handed me two packets of Electral, which are the W.H.O.-approved rehydration salts, and let me take a nap in the library rather than talk in Hindi for an hour. That was a welcome break.

At 2PM, after a rather bland lunch of bananas and plain yogurt and white rice, I hopped into a car and strolled into this clinic. We went there on the first day of orientation, and I sort of figured that I wouldn't have to go back again. I went into an examination room and a nurse checked my pulse and my temperature and my blood pressure. (All normal. Duh.) Then the doctor, who had a killer mustache, came in and asked what was the problem.

Although I'm attempting to be cavalier about my intestinal troubles here, it's still quite embarrassing to look a strange doctor in the eyes and say, "Well, sir. I've been been suffering from what we in the business like to call, 'diarrhea.'" Nobody wants to have to be that girl, but I had to do it. I walked him through the roller-coaster of emotions that have plagued me and my internal organs all weekend. The initial distress at feeling ill, the tossing and turning all night. The feverish, delirious stage in which I could do little more than writhe under the covers, which turned into a great euphoria once I realized that my fever was gone. The following disdain at realizing that my intestines had, in fact, failed me yet again.