it's still a cultural experience

It's official, gang. I've been hospitalized with bacterial dysentery. It really is the ultimate irony, considering the fact that I'm supposed to be spending this month researching access to clean water in Delhi. I've spent three full days in the hospital, and I'm about to curl up into bed for my third night. But being here has been an experience in of itself, even if it's not the one I expected to be having during my month in Delhi.

For example, I am currently watching Dexter on TV right now. Didn't know that would be aired on Indian cable. And last night, Black Swan was on, which was surprising in of itself. Homosexuality isn't really a thing in India, so I was curious to see how the censors would handle the whole Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis sex scene. Instead of showing the two of them getting it on, there was simply a shot of Natalie Portman thrusting a pillow down toward the camera like she was going to smother someone. I couldn't remember if the movie was actually supposed to be that choppy or if it was Indian censorship. Either way, it was an entertaining two hours.

I also got electrocuted yesterday with the buzzer that you use to call the nurse. I dropped the button, which sort of looks like a doorbell that's just not connected to a doorframe. The back of the button came off, and when I went to call the nurse to tell her that my IV fluids had run out, I accidentally pressed the exposed wire at the back of the button and electricity went coursing through my left index finer. This caused me to yell, which caused the nurse to come into the room. I guess the button still did what I wanted it to, if in a much more painful way.

I've also been having a hard time telling when the doctor is giving me a command or when he's giving me a gentle suggestion. Like when he says, "Now, don't eat too quickly." It's hard for me to tell if it's a gentle joke or if it's along the lines of, "No, seriously. Don't eat too fast. You'll throw up if you do." The perfect example of this was this morning, when I asked if I could be released today. The doctor's answer started with a long, "Well..........." He continued, "You can leave whenever you want. No one is stopping you. But you don't want to leave before you're sure you're well because if you do, you'll just be right back here tomorrow." Indians use a much more oblique version of English than what I'm used to, and this is a culture that doesn't like to say, "No." It's much more roundabout, more circuitous.

And that's why I'm still here. Three days in a hospital with bacterial dysentery. Now excuse me while I finish this episode of Dexter, get a new IV drip and the go to sleep. See you kids on the outside.